January 30, 2013
This Goes with This


Maybe I should’ve submitted to The Awl instead because this goes well with this. But The Awl seriously intimidates me.


Remember when this happened? It has happened again.

Then a few days later I saw this. Who is spying on my brain?

Anyway, from personal experience I can tell you that:

1. The greeting card aisle in CVS is not a good place for quiet/private phone conversations because CVS plays music and lots of people buy fucking cards during their lunch hours. You do not want your phone interviewer hearing Sophie B. Hawkins in the background while you sidestep a dude buying a birthday card with a rose on it.

2. Macy’s winter accessories section is also a bad place for phone interviews. I thought I would look “casual” like, “Hey, I’m looking for gloves oops, someone is calling me, I must take this as it is important!” But Macy’s workers get suspicious pretty quickly and trying on gloves is kind of hard when you’re attempting to tell someone about a time you overcame a particular challenging work situation and what you learned by overcoming that obstacle (a real question I’ve been asked many, many times).

3. Macy’s side entrance. This was the best one so far but it can still get a little loud. If you live where it gets cold, you’ll most likely have two sets of doors to go through to enter most buildings. I stood inside one of these vestibules at Macy’s and it was OK except for the fact that it was 1 PM and people were either leaving or coming back from their lunch breaks. Sometimes people would see me and quiet down like, ooh she’s on the phone. Other times people would see me and still be like, “BLAH BLAH BLAH IT’S COLD BLAH BLAH BLAH HAM SANDWICH!” 

So in scenario 3 I just told the guy that I was at a temp job and that I had no place to go for a quiet phone call and that yes, I was standing in a Macy’s but please excuse the background noise. He laughed but I didn’t hear from him again after that phone interview. 

It’s OK, though, because I am moving to Antarctica.

January 30, 2013
Who is going to wear these crazy ass pants, J. Crew? Whoooo?

Who is going to wear these crazy ass pants, J. Crew? Whoooo?

January 29, 2013
Who were you in the 90s?

Whenever I think that I haven’t progressed at all in life, I have to remember that I once wanted to be a cop, wanted 4 kids (all boys, specifically) and my favorite color was orange.